How to Prevent Fights from Escalating

This week has been spectacular! I have learned so many valuable things! There is one thing though that I wish to share that has made me see my marriage in a whole different light.
Conflict is inevitable in marriage. Conflict is simply the differing of ideas between two people. It is not necessarily a bad thing, however, if conflict escalates into a hurtful fight, then it can be damaging to the marriage.
Why do we fight with people we love? Why do we say things that we don't really mean or do things that we regret later? Why don't we think rationally when fighting?

The answer lies in one of our instincts. The "fight" or "flight" response. It doesn't differentiate between a physical and emotional danger. The thing that each person fears when a fight is about to begin is the loss of love or companionship from that person. This is a scary feeling. We need companionship and love and we are willing to do anything to keep it, even though how we react doesn't help us keep this love. Our body reacts by wanting to fight or take flight. Both things are not healthy for a relationship. If we realize that this is why fights or flights happen, then we can take some preventative measures to prevent fights from escalating and to prevent our bodies from going into this instinctive mode.
The first thing we need to do when we feel like a fight could occur is to assure each other of our love and devotion. This is the danger that we are innately afraid of. If there is not danger, there is no need to act or think irrationally. We can begin talking about issues by saying, "Honey I love you so much, we need to talk about..." This simple statement can change the whole course of the conversation.
I think everyone should try this technique and discover how it can change their relationship!