1)
Overpopulation is not a problem, in fact it is
under-population that we should worry about. Logically, it does seem that the
world’s population will suffer if it keeps increasing while the Earth’s
resources run out. However, none of those doomsday predictions have come true
and the world’s population is currently growing and there is no more suffering
then there was back then. Humans adapt to their environment. If a resource runs
out, humans will adapt to new ones. In fact, now the problem is that people are
not having enough children and in a few decades, the world’s population will
begin to decrease. This causes a lot of untold problems such as economic growth
and social security. Our economy cannot grow if the human capital is not
increasing. If in doubt, we should
follow the counsel of God who is all-knowing who said that we need to multiply
and replenish the Earth.
2)
Family systems theory is a great way to look at the
family as a whole. This theory looks at the whole picture rather than just
pieces of it like conflict and exchange theory do. The family systems theory
looks at the rules and roles of each family. Each family has a lot of unsaid
rules and roles. If you think about it, there are definitely different family
members that are the “peacemaker” or “spontaneous one.” This theory can be very
helpful when trying to counsel with the family as one body.
3)
The social class of the family has a definite
effect on the family system. Researchers have seen many different trends
regarding the social class of the family. Lower class families tend to have
more children than upper class families. Lower class families also tend to have
a higher divorce rate then upper class families. The African American
population is especially suffering from high rates of children born out of
wedlock, high divorce rate, low marriage rates, and high unemployment. All the
factors have a great effect on the family system.
4)
Gender is divine and our innate differences help
us fulfill our roles. No matter how much people try to say and act as if boys
and girls are not any different, it never succeeds. Research shows that men and
women think and act differently. We are physically different and our brains are
very different. We should celebrate this difference as a gift from God.
5)
“You can never get enough of what you don’t
need.” ~Elder Groberg. We related this quote to same-sex orientation. I learned
a lot of eye-opening things regarding gay/lesbian tendencies. Almost half of
the people who are gay were molested when they were young. There is definitely
a link there. There is a really wonderful theory that was proposed regarding
gay tendencies. A lot of those who claim they are gay missed a strong father
presence when they were young. Having a supportive father is a good protection
against those tendencies. Society sometimes reinforces that gay behavior by
labeling any type of more feminine behavior “gay.” Because the boy is more
feminine, he probably has more female than male friends and he has a
fascination with the guys that he wishes he belonged to. He wants to be
accepted by them. At some point in their life these natural and good feelings
are “sexualized” in some way, often by being molested. The boy then realizes
that he reacted to that “sexualization” and wonders if he is gay because he
reacted that way (which isn’t true – they just psychologically reinforce those
feelings). They then eventually act on those unrighteous feelings and then
officially indentify themselves as “gay.” We should love the person but hate
the sin.
6)
The Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) is a
very valuable tool that helps us understand relationships. There are five parts
of the RAM model. Know: how well do we know them? Trust: how much can we have
confidence in them? Rely: how much can we rely on them? Commitment: long-term
reliability. Touch: touch is powerful. Relationships should move from first to
last. Problems come when we move backwards on the model.
7)
Money Management is a big part of a successful
family. Following the principles of “One for the Money” will help families be
successful in their money management. I also learned that many times couples
think that a second income is all they need to be financially secure, but
studies show that when a mother works, often she just makes the family just
slightly more or even less because her working outside the home causes a lot of
other expenses.
8)
The active parenting FLAC method can be very
effective when you are trying to be a good parent. FLAC stands for feelings,
limits, alternatives, and consequences. This method suggests using natural
consequences as much as possible to be natural teachers. We do not have to
“punish” our children. Consequences should fit the action. It doesn’t teach the
child anything if the punishment doesn’t fit the crime.
9)
There are definitely ways that parents encourage
and discourage their children. If we expect too little, focus on their mistakes
or weaknesses, expect too much, or are overprotective or pampering, we
discourage our children. We can encourage our children by showing confidence in
them, build on their strengths, learn to value them, and stimulate independence
in them.
10) Forming step-families presents some very unique
challenges. A lot of people are part of the family system that is trying to
work together. Those in step-families should realize that after the marriage,
it takes about two years to reach a “normalcy.” This normalcy however, is
different then a biological family’s normalcy and those in a step-family should
avoid unrealistic expectations. The step parent should try to be more like a
favorite aunt/uncle rather than a disciplining parent. You cannot draw from an
empty bank account.
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