1) We need to KNOW someone before we go any further with the relationship. A of people fly over this aspect and move onto other steps within the RAM model, but knowing is critical! The more you know someone, the less surprises you will have once you are married and living with them for eternity! Knowing someone takes time and seeing that person in a variety of situations.
2) The next step is trusting someone. Once we know someone, we know to what extent we can trust them. We will trust them by sharing with them things we wouldn't tell just anyone and we expect the other person to reciprocate. We should be able to trust someone not to hurt us or intentionally do us harm.
3) The third step is relying on that person. After we know them and we feel we can trust them, we begin to rely on that person. The difference with trusting and relying is more of a practical/emotional difference. To say I trust someone is to put faith in their character whereas relying on someone is trusting in them on a practical level. Like relying on someone to physically be there when you need them to be or relying on them to take care of the bills that week. We need to have trust in their character before we can practically rely on them.
4) Once we feel like we know them, that we trust them, and that we can practically rely on someone, we then can feel comfortable in upping our commitment level to them. We know that we can rely on them to reciprocate the commitment.
5) Finally touch is like icing on the cake. It enhances the relationship beautifully. Touch is the glue to our comittment. It is only after we feel like we know them, that we can trust and rely on them, and that they are as committed as we are, then touch comes in. This will truly make our relationship beautiful!
I believe in this model and I think everyone should try it out!
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